Do I Like Myself?

Do I like myself as much as I want others to like me?

by Vince Dumond

My self-esteem is sometimes low when my inner critic takes control of the bus and takes me to a swampland called depression. Escaping from this bogland is sometimes a huge leap that takes immense energy. My ego gets in the way of humility, openness and heartfelt empathy and prevents me from loving myself. I don't want my ego to interfere. I want to be in a place where I do not even question my want of others to like me. That is the place I want to always be. I want to step into those shoes in the morning and know for sure that I love myself totally and am acting from my heart and soul without interference from outside forces of ego, criticism, defence, pride and woundedness.

Healing my inner wounds will gradually come as I continue my journey through therapy and gently increase my self-love, self-care and self-healing. This healing in turn gently changes my relationships with others around me and creates a halo effect and light barrier of protection from incoming arrows of anger, violence and other negative energies in this world.

My healing is so crucial to my daily existence that it replaces my daily bread for sustenance. Healing my inner abrasions helps my soul emerge from its slumber and solitude and become whole again, in the same way, I was born. My healing helps others’ healing. Each moment of my healing acts like the flap of the butterfly’s wings on the energy of the universe and causes an effect on everyone around me and all of those upon their connections until all in the world has been affected because of my healing moment. This butterfly effect helps to bring synchronistic events within the universe to positively influence all other events including conflict and all negativity.

Others may like me or dislike me according to their growth and enlightenment. As they choose to change and as I progress along my path I hope to attract those people who are searching for enlightenment, a challenge in their lives and deeper thinking and reflection.

Doubt is always important for my growth and discovering who I am at a deeper level. Perhaps it is doubt which is the mother of invention, not a necessity. Without a doubt, I am always discovering something new in my life, something challenged which was unchallenged before. When I challenge old beliefs, change my way of thinking and invent new avenues for behaviour and attitude.